Pained Smile
Many things happened this week.
My Camera of Obscura captured some of these moments.
I had a swell time with my friends and we did lots of fun stuff.
We brought Yu-gi-Oh! cards and played again! We also went to
Loalde where they sell dresses I dreamed of wearing long before.
We took pictures inside the dressing room. That time though some dress
did not really fit for
some reasons, I felt like
"Oh, I'm a girl afterall".I mean, I really like dresses and I actually want to wear them always
but the thing is, I don't look good on it and I will become a left material.
Huhuhuhu... poor me.
Anyway...
Yesterday, I went to school to go to the library. At the gate I saw Novie.
He seemed busy, he talked to some officer, i think.
I am not supposed to speak or do any means of communication with him.
But.. I don't know why I did that... I am so impulsive.
Stupid as always I asked him
"Suko ka?" AAAAARRRRGHHHHH!!!
TANGA jud kaayo ko sa katanan.
Why did I asked that stuuuupid question? Of course he IS mad. Amp.
And when he finally recognized me, he just looked at me.
Ouch.
I turned back, and saw my friends who was waiting for me and for the possble
scene I would have made.
As I walked, what happened not a minute ago kept playing on my mind.
And as I think of it more, the pain reels inside me.
I cried.
I tried to repress it, but the pain is so severe that even tears can't relieve it.
Ku and Faith were witnesses.
Chickenshit that was so shameful. It was like a slap and a double slap to my face.
Silence really is the best thing you can give to your enemy.
But he is not an enemy for me. He is my friend and even my kuya once.
I valued him so that talking to him has become part of my daily rituals.
They tried to cheer me up. Ku made me laugh. He always does.
I am laughing but not happy.
How long will this take?
The pain torments me each morning I wake up.
No more gud mornings, gudnyts,no more petty arguements,
no more txtmesgs, PM's, YMchats, no more telepathy..
Huhuhuhuhuhu...
Xiao |10:08 PM
Sunday, November 27, 2005
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JUUICHIGATSU DAISUKI
Yep.. the title is true,
hountou, hountou..Juuichigatsu is full of
AI. *tansoku..*Kimi wa nyuushin desu! You brought me egao to shiawase.Motto touku made isshoni yuketara nee
Ureshikute sore dakedeOmoi de wa itsumo kirei da kedo...Wakarimasen? Hahahahha! Bleh. XP
Xiao |5:57 PM
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
(1) comments
Ai! Itai!
Last night, me and Kuja, my gay friend had a girl to girl(?) chat.
He was in pain. He tried to sound cheerful but he failed to convince me.
He started telling the story.
Kuja met this guy about two to three weeks ago.
And with that very short span of time he felt something for him
but he was certain that it was nothing more but an admiration for him.
Kuja celebrated his birthday for two days, he was there, invited of course.
There Kuja started to feel something for him.
He realized he was falling for him.
But the sad part was, after Kuja's birthday he left and went to Manila.
He was hurt. And I can feel how hard it is for him.
He easily gets attached.
Falls inlove easily.
And in the end, gets hurt.
I told him that when you love, getting hurt comes with it.
I told him that.
"You have a point there", kuja said.
And I was happy I helped him somehow.
But..
I asked myself, did you really meant what you said?
Did you REALLY love someone? or worse, Do you really know how to love?
I don't know.
I really worry about myself too much.
I don't wanna get hurt.
Xiao |9:39 PM
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
(1) comments
Handsdown
Breathe in for luck.
Breathe in so deep.
This air is blessed, you share with me.
This night is wild, so calm and dull.
These hearts, they race, from self-control.
Your legs are smooth, as they graze mine.
We're doing fine.
We're doing nothing at all.
My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me?
So I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury, or wear as jewelry.
Whichever you prefer.
The words are hushed, "let's not get busted."
Just lay entwined here, undiscovered.
Safe in here from all the stupid questions.
"Hey did you get some?"
Man that is so dumb.
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close, they can't hear.
So we can get some.
My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me?
So I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury, or wear as jewelry.
Whichever you prefer.
Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember.
Always remember the sound of the stereo.
The dim of the soft lights.
The scent of your hair, that you twirled in your fingers.
And the time on the clock, when we realized "It's so late!"
And this walk that we share together.
The streets were wet, and the gate was locked,
So I jumped it, and let you in.
And you stood at the door, with your hands on my waist.
And you kissed me like you meant it.
And I knew...that you meant it.
Xiao |12:22 AM
Saturday, November 12, 2005
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When I am Bored
I'm dead bored. I wanna get out of the house!!!!!
But mama won't give me zenny!!!!!
Waaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
:.:*~Xiao starts to dreams again~*::.Zidane! Kidnap me please! I will go with you without hesitations.
I need to get out of Alexandria. The Queen is so cruel, Steiner is guarding outside the door!
I cannot summon my Eidolons, they took my staff away from me.
*
Tonight when the sun is gone, I'll wait for you at the dock..* ~xiao
Xiao |12:49 PM
Thursday, November 03, 2005
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